Fire Drill

In this line of work, you do get people who take the piss, it's inevitable. They usually contact you via email so they're not paying for anything, or they make a split second gesture and spew forth their idiocy. This fella was with me albeit remotely, for the best part of an hour. Moreover, he was extremely polite and well mannered. I could have let him meet my mother, and she wouldn't have guessed what he was.

He came to me with the caveat that his fantasy was a bit too extreme, and I rolled my eyes because most of the time, they're just not and they involve dressing up as some kind of slut, and acting out a forced bi fantasy.

So imagine my surprise when the dude said "I want to be set on fire."

Yes. You read that right, he wants to be set on fire.

Momentary pause on my part, to which I finally broke with "Isn't that a bit...final?"

I asked him if he wanted to be burned to death and he said since he didn't want to walk around looking like a freak, that yes--he wanted to be burned to death. Restrained, to a stake so he wouldn't try and get out of it. He explained that he's played extensively with all kinds of painful equipment, electro stuff, needles, you name the horror, he's played with it. There is of course the possibility that it's all COMPLETE LIES and he's just playing fantasy but dear gods, this guy was a sadist's wet dream. He even mentioned 1man1jar. But he's not suicidal! (apparently).

I made mention of the fact that he could experience burns on parts of his body that weren't visible, if he were so inclined, but then he offered that it would be unlikely that he could pursue normal relationships with people with bits of scar tissue on his body. I sort of blinked and wondered what sort of cuntstack wouldn't have a relationship with someone who had a few patches of burn scarring on them, but then we live in a very superficial society, and some people really are as shallow as the puddle you got your toes wet in on the way into town.

It's all gone a bit Joan of Arc. And no, I'm obviously not going to be setting fire to him. My self preservation levels are little more sensible. Please excuse me if this entry is less than up to par, but my brain is a bit fried after THAT conversation.